As an antidote to “time anxiety”…
For the last couple of years, I’ve been experimenting with various time management techniques to “optimize” my time and, honestly, to do too many things at once. Among those techniques, I’ve mostly tried different versions of time blocking — where you block a time spot to do a specific task. Within the first weeks, I played a catch-up game with my calendar where I tried to finish a certain task at a certain time. Then, I started to learn what tasks required what time, and just when I adjusted my calendar, either my tasks or my life changed. Then, it’s playing catch-up all over again. In the end, I was exhausted and burnt out regularly, contrary to what time scheduling should promise: peace of mind.
The central premise of time management is that there will be some time within our control in the future. Then, we plan what to do with it. Unfortunately, the time that is within our control is constantly changing. Sometimes, we have to work while our loved ones suffer a loss. Sometimes, we have to cancel our date to meet a work deadline. Sometimes… It never ends. Change is unavoidable, whether it’s us or our environment, as Marcus Aurelius reminded himself to have “constant awareness that everything is born from change. The knowledge that there is nothing nature loves more than to alter what exists and make new things like it.”
Then, managing time can go two ways: controlling our controllable time too much or too little. On one spectrum, when we are too concerned about the time that is slipping from our hands like sloppy soap, nothing we do feels like enough. Every time not spent on work feels like a sacrifice we make. As a consequence, we anxiously bounce our legs during a dinner date with our partner because we have “important” things in mind. Yes, we are on top of everything, on track to a promotion, and ready for the next level, but at what cost? What is the point when we are constantly trying to catch up with time, justifying our existenceto people who will uncontrollably die, like us, in the end? Ultimately, if we don’t know why we do the hard things we do, playing catch up with time is a lost cause because it’s controlling the uncontrollable. As Marcus talks about a lesson that he learned from a good friend:
Not to be constantly telling people (or writing them) that I’m too busy, unless I really am. Similarly, not to be always ducking my responsibilities to the people around me because of “pressing business.”
On the other hand of the spectrum, there is chaos. There is not having any control over any time we have. There is waking up in the morning and deciding what we do for the day based on our mood. There is a tendency not to schedule anything at all because it causes immense stress to fulfill any responsibility or promises. Interestingly, just like the opposite spectrum I’ve discussed above, there is constant anxiety about falling behind. This time, it’s coming from not doing the things we know we should do at the time we should do them. Then, we might not enjoy any moment because there is the constant overhead of responsibilities piled like a mountain of rocks on our shoulders. At what cost? Freedom? If so, what should freedom feel like? Like a constant feeling of falling behind? Like not feeling at peace when we are with our loved ones? Perhaps we might change the definition of freedom as Eisenhower defined it: Opportunity for self-discipline.
So, what’s the solution then?
I believe the solution lies in moderation. Accepting that we cannot control the uncontrollable and can be disciplined regardless. Although I plan to write a detailed article on time management techniques and the (neuro)science behind them with practical tips, today I want to offer a broad perspective on the overall time management philosophy, a solution in moderation. I’ll try to be as general as possible so that it can fit your current time management technique.
First of all, use a calendar. Regardless of how your life is structured, a simple calendar can restrain the chaos and anxiety to some extent. It’ll prevent you from forgetting important things like monthly bills, birthdays, or promises you made to a friend two months ago. If you don’t have a clinically diagnosed perfect memory, don’t go full Rambo. You’ll most probably forget whatever you trust yourself to remember in the future.
Second, schedule revision points in your calendar, independent of your choice of time management system. You might have to-do lists, strict time blocks, or an intrinsic trust in your brain that works like a charm when the deadline is due tomorrow. It doesn’t matter. Revise your time regularly. These revision times will help you to face the reality of life, where you can adapt to your schedule based on the uncontrollable things that life throws at you. They can be daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly, etc. Here is an example of my revision points, inspired/taken from Deep Work by Carl Newport.
1- Daily Shut Down Ritual
At the end of each day, look at the tasks you did or didn’t complete. Perhaps your child got sick, you had an unexpected meeting, or one of the tasks took more time than you anticipated. Then, try to move that task to another day or week, basically to a future place that fits your calendar. The rule is simple: no task is left behind. If you have emails or Slack messages to respond to, schedule those for another time. With this ritual, your brain will close all the open loops, and consequently, you’ll experience less anxiety. After this time, forget about the work and be present in whatever you do. Enjoy that after-work gossip or dinner with your loved ones.
2- Weekly Revisions
Similar to a daily ritual, determine a day at the end or start of your work week. This might be Friday night or Sunday morning. Up to you. Then, revise your previous week, move all the tasks and to-dos to another time, and plan your next week. This will also make you face the reality of your life like a Stoic. You face whatever shitstorm is ahead and plan accordingly. Also, it will keep you constant flexibility on a week-to-week basis, giving you peace of mind whenever you are not working.
3- Monthly/Quarterly/Yearly Revisions
Same things, but for the month, quarter, or year. It might be a business quarter or an academic semester. Perhaps it’s your last semester at school, and you want to revise & plan until the summer. Then, your graduate degree will start, and you don’t know what it’s like yet. So, you can plan until the summer, and then another time interval is from the start of summer until the beginning of your graduate degree. The rule is that this time interval should be meaningful for you and adaptable to your circumstances. This way, you can also track your long-term goals. It’ll decrease the anxiety of either constantly needing to do something or not doing anything.
In the end…
All of us have unique lives, responsibilities, and circumstances. What I’ll suggest now might be an overgeneralization for some and an undergeneralization for others. In the end, this overall simple strategy improved my peace of mind; perhaps it’ll help yours. Ultimately, these revision points can be your surfboard, allowing you to face and adapt to the waves of change that will keep coming, and keep coming, and keep coming…
Best regards,
Bugra